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The Deserted Railway Station

The setting sun cast long shadows as he stepped into the long deserted railway station. A quick look showed that no street dwellers or druggies were sitting in the quaint nooks and corners. He dropped a sack bursting at its seams. Then bending down, dragged it next to an abandoned spade with a grunt and started digging. A shadow slowly creeped up beside him.

Today if you explore that railway station, you’ll come across two mounds of dirt right next to that leafless tree in the corner.


Word Count 87 : FCA


This month’s WEP theme is Long Shadows. Cast yours too?

Ted S
Also featuring the photo prompt by Ted Strutz at the Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields and the word prompt (Station) at the Girlie on the Edge hosted by Denise Farley.

77 responses to “The Deserted Railway Station”

  1. I hope the killer left him to bury the corpse before striking

    Like

    1. If he was lazy, I guess he would.

      Like

  2. Intriguing snippet! A lot of death in that corner!

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    1. Well there are quick a few trees popping up, so maybe not as much death.

      Like

  3. Dust to dust, ashes to ashes. You tell your grim story very stylishly!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Swift justice for the murderer.

    Like

    1. Maybe. Or maybe he wasn’t a murderer after all πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Dear Bernadette,

    Long shadows can never be good, can they? Foreshadowing, if you will. πŸ˜‰ Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    1. Some shadows are good. At least the entertaining ones.

      Like

  6. Together for eternity.
    Nasty and intriguing.
    And a very minor quibble. I think I would have used crept rather than creeped. But am assuredly creeped out by your tale.

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    1. British vs American English πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Right! Though now that I think of it ‘crept’ does sound better πŸ€”.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Very mysterious. There could be so many interpretations to that snippet.

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    1. Yup. Thanks for reading πŸ™‚

      Like

  8. Great flash, fully told with so much left the imagination!

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  9. Nicely told tale. You’d think the tree would have extra leaves with the two fertilizer packets! πŸ˜‰

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    1. I hope so. It would do some good.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Ooo I love these sort of stories. A legend is born.

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    1. Maybe. Maybe not. It’s a real deserted place.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Ha,ha, chilling Bernadette. Well done. A tat longer wouldn’t hurt. β€˜ crept’ ? Happy WEP week.

    Like

    1. Thanks Susan. I didn’t have anything more to add which is why the story is pretty short (+ I kinda tend to ruin stories whenever I add a ‘little bit more’).

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Chilling. Quite successful flash. 87 words did a great job of hitting on the head.
    Regards,
    Sanhita.

    Like

  13. Gosh! That was scary and very well told!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. A grim tale but an element of justice served.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Hi,
    The tale is dark and deep. It speaks of vigilante justice. I wonder why he killed the man. Questions that make me curious.
    Shalom aleichem,
    Pat Garcia

    Like

    1. I’m curious about that too πŸ€”

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Hmmm. now we are left to wonder why he killed and was killed.
    Well done!

    Like

  17. Questions, questions! My main one being: Was that shadow a human one or a vengeful ghost?

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    1. Well, it had the shape of a human. The setting sun didn’t really help to identify it.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Great spooky tale. I wonder who the shadowy figure was?

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    1. That’s certainly a mystery πŸ€”

      Like

  19. Well, that doesn’t seem like a good place to hang out! Killers go there to bury bodies, only to be killed by other killers. An excellent little story in a few words.
    ~Cie from Naughty Netherworld Press~

    Like

    1. That’s what happens in forgotten, deserted places.

      Like

  20. Bernadette, i love how you told your creepy little tale in so few words. Left so much to our imaginations, which I like. Love the setting which really adds to the story. Shadows. Ghosts? A type of justice meted out.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Oh…Was that instant karma??? Interesting!

    Like

    1. Maybe it is. Thanks for reading.

      Like

  22. A delightfully different take – intriguing too!

    Here’s mine!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Yes, the building does have that desert railway station feel. I love the mystery – did the perpetrator get away or was he left under the mould?

    Like

    1. Tbh it was too dark to see what exactly happened.

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Chilling! and a lot of room for imagination. Well done.

    Like

  25. An intriguing snippet of prose. Yet, I wonder what was in the sack that was buried?
    Well done, Bernadette.

    Like

    1. I guess you’ll have to dig it up to find out. Thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Your ability to convey so much in so few words always stuns me. This story left me with chills. Well done!

    Like

    1. Thanks for reading LG πŸ™‚

      Like

  27. Well executed on two accounts. Enjoyed the story.

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      1. Setting and climax. It’s too bad it had to end so quickly. πŸ™‚

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      2. Thanks Bill πŸ™‚ not all good things take time.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You’re welcome.

        Like

  28. Intriguing

    Like

  29. Is it odd to wonder if the other killer made him dig his own hole first? Chilling. Nice take on the prompt. Short and entertaining. Nicely done.

    Like

    1. If the other killer was lazy, that would’ve been a great idea.

      Like

  30. Short and succinct.

    Like

  31. What a twist. Then again, he might have got away, and the second heap is above the would-be killer…

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  32. Wow – that really sideswiped me. I wasn’t expecting it to be so abrupt. And I like how the reader is left to fill in the gaps. I wonder who buried who?

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    1. I guess we’ll never know πŸ™ƒ

      Like

  33. Hi Bernadette – haunting to put it mildly … not nice to think about … well told – take care! All the best Hilary

    Like

  34. So many questions… A swift justice perhaps, but who killed the killer?

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    1. Someone did. Or maybe there’s someone or something else buried there πŸ˜‰

      Like

  35. I saw questions about a killer
    but a killer I did not see
    yet which was it, life or death
    beneath that old dead tree

    I hoped and read of life
    that was buried there
    and when I see the mounds
    young trees they will bear

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A lovely poem! Thanks for reading πŸ™‚

      Like

  36. Rebecca Douglass Avatar
    Rebecca Douglass

    Great job of telling just enough story to get our imaginations going πŸ™‚

    Like

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