The setting sun cast long shadows as he stepped into the long deserted railway station. A quick look showed that no street dwellers or druggies were sitting in the quaint nooks and corners. He dropped a sack bursting at its seams. Then bending down, dragged it next to an abandoned spade with a grunt and started digging. A shadow slowly creeped up beside him.
Today if you explore that railway station, you’ll come across two mounds of dirt right next to that leafless tree in the corner.
Word Count 87 : FCA
This month’s WEP theme is Long Shadows. Cast yours too?
Also featuring the photo prompt by Ted Strutz at the Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields and the word prompt (Station) at the Girlie on the Edge hosted by Denise Farley.
I hope the killer left him to bury the corpse before striking
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If he was lazy, I guess he would.
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Intriguing snippet! A lot of death in that corner!
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Well there are quick a few trees popping up, so maybe not as much death.
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Dust to dust, ashes to ashes. You tell your grim story very stylishly!
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Thanks Penny
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Swift justice for the murderer.
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Maybe. Or maybe he wasn’t a murderer after all 😉
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Shuddering here.
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Dear Bernadette,
Long shadows can never be good, can they? Foreshadowing, if you will. 😉 Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Some shadows are good. At least the entertaining ones.
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Together for eternity.
Nasty and intriguing.
And a very minor quibble. I think I would have used crept rather than creeped. But am assuredly creeped out by your tale.
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British vs American English 😉
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Right! Though now that I think of it ‘crept’ does sound better 🤔.
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🙂
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Very mysterious. There could be so many interpretations to that snippet.
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Yup. Thanks for reading 🙂
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Great flash, fully told with so much left the imagination!
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Thanks Yolanda 🙂
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Nicely told tale. You’d think the tree would have extra leaves with the two fertilizer packets! 😉
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I hope so. It would do some good.
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Ooo I love these sort of stories. A legend is born.
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Maybe. Maybe not. It’s a real deserted place.
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Ha,ha, chilling Bernadette. Well done. A tat longer wouldn’t hurt. ‘ crept’ ? Happy WEP week.
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Thanks Susan. I didn’t have anything more to add which is why the story is pretty short (+ I kinda tend to ruin stories whenever I add a ‘little bit more’).
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Chilling. Quite successful flash. 87 words did a great job of hitting on the head.
Regards,
Sanhita.
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Thanks Sanhita 😀
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Gosh! That was scary and very well told!
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A grim tale but an element of justice served.
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Hi,
The tale is dark and deep. It speaks of vigilante justice. I wonder why he killed the man. Questions that make me curious.
Shalom aleichem,
Pat Garcia
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I’m curious about that too 🤔
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Hmmm. now we are left to wonder why he killed and was killed.
Well done!
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Thanks Dale
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Questions, questions! My main one being: Was that shadow a human one or a vengeful ghost?
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Well, it had the shape of a human. The setting sun didn’t really help to identify it.
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Great spooky tale. I wonder who the shadowy figure was?
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That’s certainly a mystery 🤔
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Well, that doesn’t seem like a good place to hang out! Killers go there to bury bodies, only to be killed by other killers. An excellent little story in a few words.
~Cie from Naughty Netherworld Press~
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That’s what happens in forgotten, deserted places.
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Bernadette, i love how you told your creepy little tale in so few words. Left so much to our imaginations, which I like. Love the setting which really adds to the story. Shadows. Ghosts? A type of justice meted out.
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Thanks Denise
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Oh…Was that instant karma??? Interesting!
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Maybe it is. Thanks for reading.
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A delightfully different take – intriguing too!
Here’s mine!
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Yes, the building does have that desert railway station feel. I love the mystery – did the perpetrator get away or was he left under the mould?
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Tbh it was too dark to see what exactly happened.
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Chilling! and a lot of room for imagination. Well done.
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Thanks Nilanjana 🙂
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An intriguing snippet of prose. Yet, I wonder what was in the sack that was buried?
Well done, Bernadette.
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I guess you’ll have to dig it up to find out. Thanks for reading.
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Your ability to convey so much in so few words always stuns me. This story left me with chills. Well done!
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Thanks for reading LG 🙂
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Well executed on two accounts. Enjoyed the story.
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Which two? 🤔
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Setting and climax. It’s too bad it had to end so quickly. 🙂
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Thanks Bill 🙂 not all good things take time.
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You’re welcome.
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Intriguing
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Thanks Dixie 🙂
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Is it odd to wonder if the other killer made him dig his own hole first? Chilling. Nice take on the prompt. Short and entertaining. Nicely done.
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If the other killer was lazy, that would’ve been a great idea.
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Short and succinct.
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Thanks Sally
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What a twist. Then again, he might have got away, and the second heap is above the would-be killer…
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You never know…
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super creepy!
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Yup
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Wow – that really sideswiped me. I wasn’t expecting it to be so abrupt. And I like how the reader is left to fill in the gaps. I wonder who buried who?
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I guess we’ll never know 🙃
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Hi Bernadette – haunting to put it mildly … not nice to think about … well told – take care! All the best Hilary
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Thanks Hilary 🙂
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So many questions… A swift justice perhaps, but who killed the killer?
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Someone did. Or maybe there’s someone or something else buried there 😉
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I saw questions about a killer
but a killer I did not see
yet which was it, life or death
beneath that old dead tree
I hoped and read of life
that was buried there
and when I see the mounds
young trees they will bear
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A lovely poem! Thanks for reading 🙂
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Great job of telling just enough story to get our imaginations going 🙂
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Thanks Rebecca 😀
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